Towards the faith

"As usual my blog was in dire need of update. Thought of scribbling something and sat for a while facing my blog. But nothing came through. Firstly nothing interesting came and secondly no time to think,,,,lol,,, day and night was busy with books (only facebooking in the name of refreshing..Lol). I asked my friend (RTC student) to be my guest writer and here is her piece. Indeed this too was not easy, had to convince her a lot as she was reluctant to share.   At last thank you for filling the empty space on my blog."

Another lonely day for Pema

“Welcome to the BBS news…”

Her television set and her shadow were the only acquaintance to get her through the night. Sitting on a couch she tries her best to distract her mind and watch television but finds it difficult so she turns it off and decides to force herself to sleep. None less then fifteen minutes and she is been awakened by the thirst of the syrup COREX which she had finished earlier.  She turns on the light and walk towards the living room which had not been cleaned for months and her dresses, shoes, jackets were all found together in the mess. She walks towards a drawer in the shelf with the keys inside an artificial flower pot and takes out a tray of Corex.     

Carrying it back to her couch she drops the tray of syrup and breaks it into pieces. She sees a blurred image of Thrinley, not thinking twice she runs towards her but a glass piece cut her foot and by the time she takes that piece of glass from her foot Thrinley is gone. Pema, who is 25 years old, is crying in pain that she lost her best friend. Sitting in her couch she loses herself to the childhood pictures. Pema and Thrinley were neighbors and they used to love spending time together playing House and dolls.  Though Thrinley was totally different from Pema, they were the best of friends and they went to junior and high school together. Pema’s favorite moment was when they used to play hide and seek and Thrinley used to hide most of time, Pema sought her. Pema misses her friend Thrinley so much and everything she does reminds her of Thrinley the most.

It’s seven in the morning and Pema gets ready for her office as her work has been in pending. Her boss calls her to his cabin and asks her to wind up her pending work or else quit the job, pressure from her job and fear of losing it she works over time and reaches home lately. Tired and thirsty for her regular drink Corex, she tries hard to quit her addiction but it’s like climbing hills for Pema. Moving towards her room to read a novel she finds Thrinleys name on the novel and she smiles over it. As Pema flipped the pages of the Novel she finds a small note written in bold letters

DEAR PEMA,

HOPE YOU QUIT YOUR ADDICTION BECAUSE IT’S NOT TOO LATE AND I HAVE FULL FAITH ON YOU, YOU CAN DO IT.

LOVE THRINLEY.

Pema cannot get rid of her friend’s memories and its everywhere. The gifts Thrinley had brought for her like candles, curtains and the pictures of them. So Pema picked up the cartoon box to dumb all the memories one by one, the candles first and then her hand reaches the photo frame. A picture they took right after the great news for Thrinley came.

Thrinley received a call from the company she had applied for and she was accepted, to celebrate her happiness they went out with their old mates. She gave a grand dinner, party till noon and after that long drive towards the Buddha point. 

Pema said, “This night is the best night in my life time and I have never had so much fun as I did today.”

“Thank you Pema for making this night interesting and always being with me”

Its 2 a.m. in the morning and everybody was drunk, even Pema but she drops everyone home and after that Pema and Thrinley headed towards their home at Taba.

“Pema should I drive? I think you are too drunk.”

“No its okay, I’m fine and I can drive well even while I am drunk.”

“Pema, I really want you to stop drinking and taking the syrup as it may hamper you in future, please dear.”

“I know dear but I am addicted to it and it’s too difficult for me to stop. I really want too, but I cannot stop it.”

A huge truck in a lightning speed came roaring towards them and Thrinley tried balancing the steering but all she could do was hold Pema tight and their car hit the truck. Thrinley got thrown out of the glasses breaking it and giving her thousand cuts. Pema fractured her leg and could not hold Thrinley’s hands.

Thrinley was stuck in the broken windshield glass and as her body weight pulled her down the glasses added up her thousand cuts, she made no sound as she felt nothing but dead near her. Pema shouted for help as she saw her friends’ breath get shorter and shorter and she could not move because her leg was stuck.

 All she could do was console Thrinley saying, “Hold on dear, there will be someone who will help us. Hold on, please, hold on”

Thrinley in her painful voice could not say much but left a piece of advice for her best friend.

“Pema do not let your life get wasted by your habits and addiction, please take life seriously and do something in life, I will be by your side and for now I need to go”

A tear dropped and it fell on the glasses of the frame, she sat on the floor hopeless and helpless, feeling the guilt that she killed her best friend. One who was with her in sorrows and hard times, a friend who was more than a family to her. She cries not knowing what to do; she hits her hand on the wall and cries aloud. She breaks all the bottles of drinks yelling at them and saying they killed her best friend and they do not have space in her life. Losing her strength she walks towards her room and gets into her blanket.

Another morning alone and desperate for her usual drinks and her syrups, she walks towards her living room and sees everything broken, no drinks and no syrup. She cries in pain and rolls herself on the floor holding her stomach hard and crying loud. Karma, who is Thrinley’s friend dropped by to see Pema because he knows their friendship and he used to like Pema in college. When he sees Pema in pain on the floor, he rushes her to the hospital. After being under observation for hours the doctor informs that she has to stop drinking and abusing drugs or else she would suffer with diseases and addiction of the drugs. He suggested Pema to get admission in a rehab center so that she can stop abusing drugs and make her life better as she deserved to live happily.

Pema not knowing what to do asks Karma for suggestion and even explains him that it’s impossible for her to live without drugs. Karma invites Pema to live with him as she would be saved from her loneliness and he could help her with her addiction.

“Thank you Karma for helping me and letting me stay with you, you really are helpful friend and I am lucky to have you.”

“It’s okay Pema, we are friends and I would love to help you always, please feel free at home and never hesitate to ask anything .”

“Thank you Karma and goodnight.”

“Goodnight and see you tomorrow.”

One evening Karma comes home with a video CD and sees Pema under her blankets, sweating and crying in pain. He lets Pema drink a little amount of syrup because he had the knowledge that addiction cannot be stopped immediately. After she gets relief from the pain he lets her eat fruits and watch video which was of meditation, and how meditation could help people with desire and frustration. She tries it every morning and evening but it was too difficult for Pema and every with failure she cried. She felt that music sometimes helped her ease for her desire, so she played it in the loudest volume.

They tried different means to let her go off the desire, visited religious temples, attending rituals personally for her but it was simply difficult. It would stop her from one or two days but she could never avoid it. To distract her, Karma always kept her busy with works but she used to get restless and thirst of it came from nowhere. She regrets being in a bad company during her school days and especially during college days which lead to her destruction.

The day when she left Thrinley with other friends and joined new friends from different place, those friends were bad company but Pema refused to listen to any of friends and joined them. She felt these friends knew how to enjoy life and the days passed by when they got so addicted to syrup and marijuana that nothing seemed important but only drugs. One day they were caught by the college management and they were suspended.

Tring tring, Pemas’ phone rang.

“Hello, yes Thrinley”

“Pema why are you doing this, why are you wanting to spoil your life?”

“I am sorry Thrinley I did not mean to get suspended from college but as I abused drugs, I was caught”

“I know it’s past now and we cannot change anything but after you join college I want you to avoid all those friends of yours”

“Yes I think I should avoid these friends and thank you Thrinley for the great concern. You are always my best friend and will always be”

Pema avoided those friends but the impacts those friends left could never erase and her life moved on till she was an addict and could never stop it.

Pema tries her best but every step she took towards leaving the addiction, it fails and somewhere she is lucky to have Karma to help her with everything.

One night in grief she walks towards Karma and says that she needs to share something, “Karma, I killed my best friend. If I was not drunk and did not drive the car that night then she would still be with us.”

“No, No, Pema it’s not the truth, after an hour both of you were brought to the hospital you were unconscious but Thrinley was awake. Doctor said that she has lost excessive blood and how unlucky the blood bank was also running shortage of it.”

“Our blood matches!”

“But you were unconscious and you also had some cuts.”

“Didn’t you go out for search?”

“Yes we did, everyone went and by then doctor said that it was too late”

“Aiee… my poor friend. Why only her… God!”

Her eye was filled with tears and she mourned for her friend.

“It was not you but her faith that she had to leave us in this condition and the truth is that she always wanted you to leave happy and leave you bad habits behind and she asked me to promise her that I would always be by your side like she used to be.”

“Now it’s time for me to do something for my best friend, when she could do so many things for me, why can’t I?”

Karma asked Pema to join a rehab center in Kolkata, as he knows the manager there and he is going to help them. She packs her things but she fears that she would not do it alone but Karma gives her the strength and hopes that she can do it for herself, for her best friend and for Karma. She accepts the proposal and admits herself to rehab center and reaches Kolkata. After she had been admitted well he says goodbye and leaves her. She makes her bed during night and she looks at the photo frame near her side table, where she is with her best friends and there is a small photo attached of Karma. She smiles at it and hopes for the better days in future but the best thing she learned is, our faiths are undeniable.

By Sonam Sonnie Namga